The Definition of Irony
by Japyra
Summary: Irony:n,pl an intention or attitude opposite to that which is actually or ostensibly stated. Sasuke learns to hate life's little ironies. SasukexSakura


**My first one-shot! I love detail and it's kept me away from doing anything but a 45,000 word story... But this idea just kind of came to mind, so here it goes!**

**Disclaimer: When scientists stop poking things with sharp little knives I will own both Naruto and the Dictionary.**

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_Irony: n, pl; an intention or attitude opposite to that which is actually or ostensibly stated._

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Irony, that was what it was. Sasuke decided. A cruel, sadistic turn of fate so the gods could point and laugh at his misery. He _hated_ irony.

The Uchiha avenger was not someone to be pushed around by destiny. He had blazed his own path and was damn well proud of it.

Sure, sacrifices had been made when he left Konoha. He had abandoned his best friend near death and left a teammate heartbroken on the bench.

But three years later, the infamous missing nin had returned: battered, bloody, and bruised. Dragged home by his rival, victorious. After all, killing Itachi and Orochimaru was quite an accomplishment. And so after three years, the betrayer came back home.

It wasn't exactly a grand welcoming. He was comatose for three days, and spent three weeks in the hospital with only the dobe for company. Oh, and the visit by Tsunade who came to inform him that he was on six months probation, with ANBU watching his every move. Oh, and he had to re-learn the value of being a shinobi with his former sensei, Kakashi. Which meant, of course, running a horrifying amount of laps while the man read his x-rated book. Then training with weapons, and then some bizarre chore the white-haired jounin didn't feel like doing. But it was all right. He had completed his life's work and killed the snake bastard in the process. That was good enough for him.

At least, it _had_ been good enough. But a little over a week of discharge from the hospital, spending his spare time sparring or eating with Naruto made the black-haired prodigy realize that something, or rather _someone_, was nowhere to be seen.

When Sasuke noted that his pink-haired teammate had not once seen him in five weeks of being here, he assumed something drastic: death or perhaps memory loss. After all, Sakura Haruno was madly obsessed with him. She was the little pink pest that never gave him a moments peace. But he hadn't seen her in three years, and know it seemed the kunoichi had done the vanishing. Curiosity getting the better of him after the sixth week, the sharingan master asked the hyperactive blond about it.

_"Oh, Sakura-chan? I think she is avoiding you teme." His tone wasn't particularly dark, but something had flashed in the fox's blue eyes._

_"... avoiding me?" The stubborn ninja repeated, black eyes narrowing in confusion._

_"Yeah. I can go talk to her about it if it's twisting your boxers, Sasuke-kun." Naruto added the suffix with a grin._

_The remaining Uchiha scoffed. "Hn, whatever. It's not like I miss her. It's been nice not having anyone force-feed me apples."_

_A heavy punch replied to the raven-haired boy. An enraged Kyubi glared at his best friend._

_"Bastard, do you even know what you did to her?"_

_"Why should I care?"_

_This time the nine-tails restrained himself from punching the thick-headed skull again. The blood he wiped off his pale chin was enough. But the cerulean eyes were still alight._

_"Well then I guess it's a good thing she is over you."_

Sasuke stopped his walking and felt the strong need to lash out at something. The rain was doing nothing to calm his... _annoyance._

_"Well then I guess it's a good thing she is over you."_

After three months of living in Konoha, the Uchiha prodigy saw his former teammate again.

She had just come back from a two-week long mission, weary but smiling. And Naruto wanted to go eat ramen to celebrate. Sakura agreed.

She didn't know her former love would be there.

He hadn't known the pink-haired princess would be there.

The dobe knew exactly was he was doing.

Haruno had been surprised, it radiating from her doe eyes. But after a moment she shook of the shock and placed a warm smile on her face.

"Hello Sasuke,"

And he? His stoic features did not betray the fact that he was... surprised at her change. Not that she was beautiful or anything, _of course_.

It was when she didn't add the adoring ending to his name that the stubborn prodigy really understood just how drastically the medical nin had let him go.

And it disturbed him.

So they began to... talk some more. She would get mad at him, yell at him, even slapped him once.

The old Sakura would never had done that.

Oh, and her punches _hurt_.

Sasuke actually found himself enjoying her company now that there was no fear of secret mission get-a-date-with-Sasuke-kun. Her charm, her playfulness... it was nice to be around. And before the pale boy knew it, he was searching her out to do things like go out to eat (non-ramen foods), walk around, or simply talk. The beloved Uchiha would not spar her though. It infuriated the medic to no end, but he could not bring himself to hurt her, and that would be a problem in a match. After all, the goal is to harm your opponent into submission.

But it wasn't until six months passed after the avenger's return that the light bulb freaked above his head.

He had been sparring with the spandex-wearing shinobi when he began to ramble about the girl.

_Lee dodged a punch and returned with a kick, smiling and still spouting obscure comments about youth or something Sasuke was not paying attention to as he readied his jutsu._

_"And then Sakura—"_

_The sound of the familiar name made the Uchiha freeze mid-sign, looking up to fuzzy-brows. _

_"—just smiled and said she was busy. But the power of youth will not stop! So I asked her on another date yesterday. Sakura said yes and after dinner when I walked her home I took her most beautiful lips in mine and—"_

_The simple fire jutsu twisted suddenly into something much fiercer as an unknown rage built up in the avenger._

_"—For she is surely the most beautiful, youthful, cherry blossom of the Fire Country!" However any other words from the unfortunate victim were abruptly silenced by the blue thunder of the Chidori. _

Lee ended up in the hospital, and a red-faced medic faced him within the hour.

_"I just got called for some emergency healing to Lee! I was thinking sound or some rogue nin, but what does he tell me?" She was screaming, chakra on her fist and long locks of her distinguishable hair came loose from the tie she wore._

_"It was YOU! Uchiha, you used your most powerful attack in a SPAR! You could have KILLED HIM! What did he do? Say your youthfulness was draining?"_

_Her green eyes were alight with furry, demanding of him._

_Sasuke sat against the wall, looking unaffected except for the dark eyes which reflected anger, and perhaps a little hurt._

_"He kissed you." There was a dangerous edge to his monotone._

_The ranting kunoichi fell silent, her cheeks flushing with embarrassment this time._

_"He was so desperate for a date—and it wasn't like I am obligated so I felt bad—I had no idea he was planning—" Suddenly her soft mumbles faded and her downcast eyes returned to look her former teammate square in the face._

_"Why do you care?" _

_The avenger stiffened. Why did he care? Surely not **that**, no—**that** could not have happened. He was **not** jealous. He was **not** in love with Haruno Sakura. But her question remained unanswered._

_"Sasuke?" Her voice was softer, beautiful face so long grown out of its forehead, lined with concern._

_Some feral beast took hold of the survivor. It was a primitive desire, an aching need... And before the black-haired boy could halt his movements, he had brought his mouth to hers._

_She tasted of water, and blood, and sweetness. _

_The medic stood in raw stun for a moment before breaking away, eyes wide, and uttering a strig of words._

_"I—I can't... I need to... you just... home." And scrambled away._

And that was how Uchiha Sasuke ended up wandering the streets, feeling frustrated and annoyed at the turn of events.

At the irony.

For years, the kunoichi had begged him to go on a date. Kami, she has kissed the ground he _bled_ on.

And he had rolled his eyes, made a bitter remark, and turned away.

Now it was switched.

He was the one who... loved? Was that possible. Yes, there was no more denying it. He had needed to kiss her so bad it hurt. He needed her in his possession, to protect, to be by. She knew him. And with her smiles, her distance which brought them closer, her gentle understanding, and playful taunt she had done it. Sakura had made Sasuke fall in love with her.

Only after she had given up on him.

Ironic.

The gray clouds and reflections of rain surrounded the wandering shinobi now. He turned abruptly to the training grounds, not bothering with kunia as he punched at the targets, venting his emotions.  
"Damn," The avenger hissed as his knuckles bled from impact and the wooden target snapped.

He stood there, panting in the rain, feeling a hard helplessness.

He was an Uchiha, for Kami's sakes! He didn't know anything about emotions!

_Sakura..._

"Sasuke..."

Think of the devil.

The ninja didn't turn around. He didn't know what to say or what to do, and that frustrated him. So he punched the target again, embracing the pain to clear his thoughts.

Soft footsteps among the grass caught against the wind.

"Sasuke," The Haruno daughter called again, softly.

Her former teammate tensed at the proximity, and slowly his haunting eyes turned to face her.

"Your hand," The distinguishable woman said simply, grabbing the bleeding item. Not looking him in the face she summoned her green chakra and quickly healed it.

"You didn't have to do that." The handsome teen said slowly.

They both knew he wasn't talking just about the hand.

But her face just caught in a smile.

"I'm a medic. I can't just leave you out in the rain."

The lone survivor of his clan nodded, still noticing that she had not released his hand.

"Sakura..."

Damn it, he was going to apologize even if it killed him.

But the cherry blossom shook her head lightly, not minding the water that played with her pink locks, rolled down her porcelain skin...

"I stayed away so long when you returned because I didn't want to fall in love with you again."

Sasuke stared hard at her, keeping silent and masked.

"But then when I did see you I had convinced myself not to love you, so we could just be friends... I even agreed to go out with Lee to push you away. Kind of ironic, isn't it?"

Hesitantly, she placed her other hand on the palm she had healed.

"But no matter what I do I can't—" Sakura didn't have to say more, and the black-haired shinobi didn't want her to.

And when their lips met this time in the rain, neither pulled away. Even when his hands tightened around her waist and she felt through his spiky locks. Even as the rain began to cease, slowly, and the clouds unloaded their burden.

_Yeah, _Sasuke decided. _Kind of ironic._

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